Summer Health Madness Galore (1): Cruise Tourists Infected w/Norovirus

In this first part of my summer update, Virus Cruises™ make a comeback, with Norwegian state broadcaster NRK putting three (!!!) journos™ on a story™ reported by local papers earlier

Ah, as time goes by, amazing sights and wonders remain imparted on anyone’s memory: does anyone still remember…Covid Cruises?

What do an upscale restaurant and a cruise ship have in common?

Covid Cruises is the New Thing: this time, fully-vaxxed-and-boosted passengers and crew off Dubai had to shorten their Persian Gulf trip because of…a Covid outbreak

Now, with the Covid Mania receding into grey prehistory for most Normies™ and Branch Covidians alike, apparently some journos™ haven’t gotten that memo (yet), if the below-reproduced breathless reporting™ by Norwegian state broadcaster NRK about…an outbreak of norovirus (food poisoning) aboard a cruise ship is any guide.

In case you’re asking yourself reading on, the Norwegian word for idiot, or moron, is (drum roll)…idiot.

Translation, emphases, and [snark] mine.

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197 Cruise Passengers Infected With Norovirus

A cruise ship infected with norovirus is on its way to Finnmark. The ship will dock at several locations on its way north [fear da virus].

By Sidsel Vik, Jo Hermstad Tronsen, and Iselin Bonesvoll, NRK, 10 July 2025 [source; archived]

Several passengers on board the cruise ship ‘MS Artania’ have been infected with norovirus and are travelling north [these unfortunate passengers came down with some kind of food poisoning aboard the floating insulation ward masquerading as a cruise ship]. There are around 1,200 passengers on board. This is according to initial reporting by iFinnmark [ah, the state broadcaster had three (!!!) of its staff members chase down™ a story™ initially reporting by a local legacy media outlet: that’s how journalism™ is done].

Acting chief medical officer in Vestvågøy municipality, Hallvard Angelsen, confirms to NRK that 197 people have been infected [I call BS on that one: Vestvagøy is on the Lofoten, which is a popular tourist destination with 11,619 ínhabitants (as of 2024); imagine, if you will, a doctor spending 2 minutes per patient (394 minutes) aboard the ship, which translates into some 6.5 hours—it’s technically possible as ‘MS Artania’ has been in port for 12 hours, but given the likelihood of the doctor having to walk from cabin to cabin, I suppose Dr. Angelsen spent the day among the infected].

It was TV2 that first reported the increased number of infected people [which was ‘about 200’; here’s the contribution of the three (!!!) NRK journos: find out the exact number of 197].

Angelsen says that the infection is found only among the passengers on board the ship:

So far, no one has been infected locally where the ship has been in port, but the virus has an incubation period of 48 hours, so we will have a final answer in a day and a half.

Another doctor and nurse joined the ship from Lofoten, in addition to a doctor and nurse who were already on board.

When the ship left Brønnøysund on Tuesday [8 July], 50 people were ill [I’ve looked at the cruise ship’s itinerary, and it gets totally weird: ‘MS Artania’ is on a 14-day round trip to the North Cape, via the Lofoten, and checking out Norway’s fjords; the ship left Bremerhaven, Germany, on 5 July 2025—and if that dreaded, terrible norovirus has ‘an incubation period of 48 hours’, all the infections must have occurred since the vessel left Bremerhaven: hence, my Sherlock Holmes-like, masterful deduction of this being, well, something like a food poisoning case].

‘The virus is highly contagious, and all the necessary measures are being taken on board,’ says ship’s agent Remi Solberg [that’s another second-hand quote from the TV2 piece, by the way].

Heading Northwards

On Thursday [10 July, i.e., the day after the Lofoten sojourn] morning, the ship was off the coast of Troms on its way to Honningsvåg in Nordkapp municipality.

Idar Jensen, Director of Nordkapp Municipality, told NRK that infection on board ships is not unusual:

We consider the situation to be fairly normal. We’ve had this situation many times before, and it probably won’t be any different this time.

No measures are likely to be taken. Of course, we'll talk to the head of the municipality, but I don’t think any physical measures will be taken.

The cruise ship will arrive in Alta on Saturday [12 July] morning. It will then return to Tromsø, where it will dock on Sunday morning.

Sick People Will Be Isolated

According to ship’s agent Remi Solberg of Arctic Guide Service, the ship comes from Bremerhaven. The passengers began to fall ill on the trip to Brønnøysund [it was the ‘MS Artania’s’ first stop on 8 July after leaving Bremerhaven on 5 July, which, once again, supports my above-voiced interpretation].

Solberg says that everyone who has become ill or has symptoms has been isolated on board, and no one is allowed to go ashore.

NRK has been in contact with the Nordkapp Medical Centre. They are not taking any special measures [that seems to be the one original contribution by the three (!!!) NRK journos™, which is also a totally moot point: those who are ill must stay aboard, and those who are coming ashore will be treated, if needed], but if travellers who are allowed to go ashore need medical help, they will get it from them.

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Bottom Lines

I understand this was painful to read, but I’m a wee bit short on time over the weekend, hence a few shorter and lighter pieces.

I’ve mentioned most nonsense in the snark above already, but I’ll add one more aspect: ever since moving to the countryside three years ago, each summer I’m helping out the local tourist agency because—believe it or not—my neck of the woods (pop. around 2,200) is a cruise ship destination.

When these gigantic vessels call, there’s several thousands of people aboard, many of whom venture ashore.

For the municipality, this is good business as cruise ships pay harbour fees (and the local gov’t looks at these with dollar signs in their eyes like Scrooge McDuck).

For local businesses, however, this isn’t such a good deal as these cruise ships offer all-inclusive trips—which is why I pointed to the proximal origin (muahahahaha) of that outbreak as food poisoning—and that means two things:

• Most tourists are back aboard their ships around 5-6 p.m. local time in order to get ready for dinner; in some cases, that’s 4:30 p.m. because there’s ‘free’ coffee and cookies served by then.

• Most tourists aren’t interested in doing sightseeing (we have two mediaeval churches in my town from the 12th century), but they stroll through town, have a coffee or drink at the café, and check out the supermarket.

The average age of these cruise passengers in my neck of the woods is 70+ (and most are from Germany; occasionally, one gets Americans and Brits, and very rarely French), which means they’re rusty but quite quite fit.

So, I’m guiding 3:30 hour-long walking tours, and while most of my interlocutors are among the fitter tourists, they’re mainly retirees (slightly overweight, little exercise at home) who chose to spend their vacation in a floating camp with canteens masquerading as restaurants™.

Basically, they get the worst kind of food prepared with the cheapest ingredients (massive amounts of seed oils, for instance) for all-inclusive, all-you-can-eat buffets) and there’s little else to do on such cruises: get up, have breakfast, hang out at the bar or get ashore, be back on time for coffee or dinner, and catch a movie in the evening.

So, cruise tourists (sic) are sitting around most of the time, often in close quarters, and they’re basically always in air-conditioned environments aboard.

This is how and why I know.

And this, dear readers, ‘splains’ the outbreak.

And now you do, too.